defining beauty

I uncovered beauty this morning, but I thought I would first research beauty to see what the www has uncovered. I googled beauty and clicked on images. What first appeared was pages and pages of women intermixed with pics of beauty treatments and flowers and food and animals. I then wiki'd beauty and found that our online encyclopedia source of all things known and unknown defines it: "Beauty is commonly defined as a characteristic present in a person, place, object or idea that provides a perceptual experience of pleasure, meaning or satisfaction to the mind or to the eyes, arising from sensory manifestations such as a shape, color, personality, sound, design or rhythm". Physical beauty is a predominate theme throughout the definitions I found. Paris sought it in Helen, the most beautiful woman in the world. Beauty pageants run rampant throughout the earth, as our eye looks to quantify "beauty".

Plenty words have been written on the subject and the planet's problematic issues with beauty, so I will not go into any diatribes or soap boxes. Been there. Done that. Schumann, the composer, distinguishes beauty as either natural or poetic. Natural beauty is simply sensual delight. Poetic beauty begins where natural beauty leaves off. Ah, how this poet's soul feasted on those words. In the Old Testament, instances of beauty are first mentioned to describe Sarah and Rebekah and Leah. The first mention of of the word beauty is in Esther and then in Psalms where it is in reference to God. Proverbs addresses it as fleeting. And Peter states that unfading beauty is a gentle and quiet spirit, the closing word on beauty in the Bible.

So, after a very minimal search on a much sought after topic, I will attempt to describe what I saw. Poem to follow.

insomnia

tea at 9pm, drive to austin from dallas, smell starbucks at 11pm but decide to resist, responsibility, broken airconditioner, call brother at midnight, flip switches to attempt and repair air (hahaha), prepare mailing for respected one at one (am), write email to dear friend at one fifteen, change blog color as well as soul color at two am, play theme song, play theme song again, dance like a madperson, play theme song 7 times, dance crazy three am, and yes, i think i'll play theme song yet again. een kopje koffie? mmm. lekker lekker. and 345 ahhhh ehmeh; dance again? oh can't you see-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-eeeee? go. to. bed. okay, play it one last time. 4am. caffeine............ is.......... wearinggggg...................offffffffzzzzzzzzzzzz. and to love i rhapsodize. good night bono. good night moon. good night edge with your guitar maroon.

(regrets for posting this to follow soon)

to cheese or not to cheese

"The poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese." GK Chesterton

Mr. Chesterton, in response to your comment and in honor and admiration for your wit, I respectfully take up your challenge and vow to write an ode to a cheese, be it quark or brie or Gouda or blue. Quark won me over in the Netherlands though I do have a great appreciation for Brie (mainly my friend and some for the gooey, soft, ripened curd as well). Wallace, be my inspiration, sir; teach me your love for the smelly, coagulated substance you so obsess over. Mmmm, mascarpone, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways.....

from temporal to transcendent

(in progress...)

I do not understand what his plans may be
but I do know what his plans are not;
the bruised he does not break,
the downcast man he will not abandon.

And what of the snares and traps
planned against those who live upright?
He allows them though we cry out as Job,
"Remember oh, God, that my life is but a breath!"

And faith is tried
and trust is tested
and hope seems loosed
to the doubt of a material and terrestrial sanctuary.

And the interior inquisitor takes his grip
as the questions flood in
like a raging river undammed,
"My God, Why!"

The blackness of dark
hides all form of tangible truth,
and light is swallowed
by an unwholesome void.

And what of the bruises and gashes,
the heart aches and hunger?
Pain appears to drain the soul of
life giving nectar and stores.

In those all-consuming moments
the agony whispers eminent demise
and the hurt screams,
"You are undone!"

The bandaid is ripped away
too fast and too soon.
Stunned by the shock though reeling in torment
the words of the poet king resound,
"What is the use in my going down?"

You will be crushed

You will suffer

You will know torment

You will experience misery and woe.

But you shall not be defeated
You will not be bested
You will not be conquered
You shall not be overcome.

There is a strength to be found,
and in that strength is righteous authority
that will cut down the fiercest foe,
power to destroy the wildest enemy.

There is a sword to wield,
and in that sword is unmanageable light,
light that voraciously seeks
to overcome shadowed distortions .

There is a refuge to hide in,
and in that refuge is a treasury of virtuous provision,
fountains and streams that heal
the wounded and wearied soul.

And yet we see with human eyes;
there is much left unknown.
Will the value and worth of these temporal oppressions
carry weight and meaning to the world transcendent?

Fire leaves the impurities behind
and polishes the precious metal.
Does faith remain and
trust stand firm?

Loose thy hope in realms
where decay and rot exist not,
where mercy lines the streets
and love reigns supreme.

© copyright micah holcombe 2007

proverbial reflection

wisdom
bind it around your neck
pursue it like a precious treasure
its worth is greater than jewels
for it is the greatest thing man can desire

love and faithfulness
bind them like a tablet on your heart
walk with them all your days
for they bring favor and sweet incense

knowledge and understanding
seek them with your whole being
go to the ends of the earth for them
for they are foundational and invaluable

sound judgement and discernment
preserve them
move in them with faith
do not let them stray
for they will be a graceful ornament around your neck

wisdom
her ways are pleasant
her paths are peace
her inheritance is honor
for she is a tree of life to all those who embrace her


reflecting proverbs 3

what say you?

i resolve to fly.

esperar

hope--
what a strange concept!
to put faith in something
that may or may not come to pass,
to trust that all will be well
whether or not what you hope in
will materialize

it is a grand risk-
sticking your neck out
unaware whether it will be chopped off
or embraced,
censured or favored.

logic suggests to safeguard
the heart and its aspirations,
to seek scientific confirmation
before placing confidence in
an obscure supposition and
absolute uncertainty

and yet how the heart
longs to soar to the heights
on the wings of that hope
and taste the sweet air
and rise out of the dark dens
of common knowledge and dusty reasoning.

Ah, the quandary! The dilemma!
What say you?
To Hope?
Or not to Hope?

to journey out in blind faith
and suffer precarious vulnerability
or to buttress in
and conserve a meek core?

don't you see the risks in both vices?
to stay within the fortress
will mean most certain protection
but no hope at all,
only life long imprisonment
and deplorable stagnancy.

but to give credence to
and to ascend forward in
an ambiguous prospect
with expectancy and postulation
will mean most probable pain
but also hope and flight and
unblemished liberation.

And again I ask,
will you hope or will you not?
Will you stay safe in the hidden crevices
of the mountainside
or will you venture forth
risking all for a dream
that holds inestimable worth?


© copyright micah holcombe 2007

the peasant and the queen

I woke up early to start the beauty ritual, applied "straightening serum" and attempted to straighten my curly locks, put on make-up, ironed my newest shirt, and hoped my ten (no, twelve) year old pants could hold up their end of the bargain. I was late for work preparing for this day. I was meeting the First Lady. Wow. Could anything be so surreal?

The day completely flew by. I lost track of time as my mind was occupied elsewhere. I looked at the clock at 5pm and rushed to reapply make-up, brush my teeth, and to take a deep breath. The "soiree" was a private reception in an intimate setting with the wealthy and powerful, the benefactor, the publisher, the editor, an author or two, the artist, the President's wife, and me- the peasant.

It was held in a quaint house just a thousand or so square feet larger than mine though in a neighborhood where prices are five times that of the one I live in (location, location, location). Secret Service cased the premises. I stepped in the front door greeted by a woman I hold in high regard, the Executive Director of the Texas Book Festival, and then was escorted to the dining room.

Standing at the end of the table was a beautiful face I had seen many times before, but never this close. It was as if it was the most natural thing to see her and at the same time the most un-natural. She entertains queens and heads-of-state, makes decisions that affect the wealthiest nation on the planet, sleeps next to the man who carries the weight of the world on his shoulders (granted, the least popular man in the world as well), and this tiny, powerful woman is standing 4 feet in front of me. My boss asks the professional camera man to take a picture of me with the First Lady. There is a "receiving" line for her, and we are next. She knows my boss and asks how he is. He introduces me. I flatten my hand against my pants to make sure my palms aren't sweaty; yes, lets avoid a really embarrassing ordeal. I shake her hand and she repeats my name. I say, "It's very nice to meet you", though I wanted to say "it's an honor". So I throw that in there as well. Cameras flash in the background. My boss does all the talking, and the meeting lasts maybe 2 minutes. There is a line behind us and we are not the only people who desire an "audience with the queen". "It was nice to meet you." And we move on. I could have stared at her all night! Such a lovely lady in many ways.

Being greeted by Mary when we walked in did put me at greater ease, but it still was a very intimidating environment. I was aware that I was the poorest person in the room, but I was also aware that I was one of the tallest (literally heads above most). Several dead fish hand shakes met my naive, full one; there were a few strong ones as well. The Book Festival staff were friendly and helpful, and my boss is a very outgoing person-- so I was more relaxed than expected. I came out of hiding just a bit (like a timid turtle poking its head out), did utter one witty statement, and found good conversation with the computer tech and his girlfriend. We talked of literature and travel, two of my favorite subjects. By the end of the evening, my boss was dragging me away.

After my boss and I returned to the office, I met Deborah and Carla for tea. Yes, meeting the "queen" is exciting, an experience I won't soon forget. What a day, or rather evening, it was. I have to say though that ending the evening with friends and loved ones was truly the icing on the cake for me.

Follow this Statesman link on the event:

http://www.statesman.com/news/mplayer/news/26806

symptoms of an unknown malady

#1. i can't find the golden raisins!

where are the golden raisins!

i have been going in circles around this bulk section pushing this grocery cart everywhere and there are NO GOLDEN RAISINS ANYWHERE!

"Uh, ma'am?" (because I look 45 years old? No, it's just a good ole Texas boy though its hard to tell under his hip-hop exterior) "That's not your basket. It's my basket. I think that is your basket."

#2. why are my swimming goggles in my office with the paper clips and highlighters?

#3. 2am, attempting to dump out the pile of leftovers and extra juices from the evening meal, what looks to be the epitome of "pig slop", micah dumps the disgusting concoction all over the dryer, floor and her feet. laughter follows as well as a sour stomach.

#4. i've tried 3 times to get the internet back on! why won't the phone and the internet work? and it hits her. oh yeah, you have to remember to pay the bill in order for them to stay on...

#5. in a crucial moment where the boss in under pressure from a solicitor, he asks micah a question that she knows to answer in the affirmative but all sense is lost and she answers in the negative. next time, the boss says, we'll use cue cards.

#6. a day of great importance is upon her, the day when she gets to spend an hour and a half in the same room with the woman married to the most powerful man in the world, her thoughts are completely otherwise occupied and she completely loses track of the day. 5:00 rolls around and she has done nothing productive (okay, she made a couple of website updates at 9am).

Diagnosis?

possibilities:
-lost marbles (most likely)
-caffeine deficiency (probable)
-other (to gain a complete diagnosis I suggest full lobotomy)

Treatment?

Hopeless case. Must do the best we can to protect patient from destructive patterns of willy-nilly behaviors.

haiti december 1994

my Dove,

in the clefts of the rocks

in the hiding places on the mountainside

Show me your face
Let me hear your voice


For your voice is sweet
and your face is lovely

sos 2:14

independence day

she waited on the plinth for the guns to sound
and her feet were ready for the plunge.
the one thing that held her back was
an awareness of the barnacles that clung to her every side
and would slow her down.
fear gripped her that they would pull her under
and she would be lost to their weight.
these chattels had a power over her
and yet she retained mastery.
the word "Mark!" was shouted
and she regained her footing
placing one leg in front
with readiness for complete immersion.
as the pistol shot echoed
the heaviness of the barnacles seized her back
though only for a moment,
and she pushed forward in hopes of autonomy.
time and space ceased to exist just an instant
before the water had been broken.
the sharp, bold, frigid water took her breath away
as its long, fluid, wiry fingers
stung her "barnaclized" body.
she pressed onward
not with the grace and elegance of a dolphin
or a mermaid
but with the determination of a sinking ship.
hopeful though weak of heart
her clumsy glide did not deter her from
maintaining a firm resolve to swim
and finish well.
the barnacles began squeezing tighter
and attempting to muster command of this doubtful vessel.
one by one they stepped up and marshaled together
to form a cowardly mutiny.
several ensnared her leg.
others commandeered her shoulders.
another arrested her breast.
still yet another captured her throat
and choked her breath.
the tenacious swimmer
wanted to give way to this aggressive coup
but chose to fight and struggle and defend her authority.
all seemed lost as she sunk down in complete submersion
and she groped for a buoy of hope or a cord of sanctity.
somewhere in the soul's storehouses a remembrance
of truths and mercies, graces and absolution
aroused strength and faithful resolution.
light pierced the dark depths of her fateful battle and
courage rallied as she reached for the unseen salvation.
and just then a barnacle fell off.
and another.
and another.
slowly they began all falling off.
the swimmer ascended and encouraged by the lighter load,
she sailed on with greater speed than she had ever known.
one by one the barnacles relinquished their hold
and freedom set the captive free.
she regained fortification and set off for the course ahead
this time with renewed bearings.

this water maiden can still be found breaking waves
or descending to underwater depths with
a fresh sense of emancipation.
occasionally she forgets the barnacles have been removed,
and her stroke becomes awkward and uneasy.
but for the most part
she swims now with powerful fluidity
and graceful tranquility.

© copyright micah holcombe 2007


(rough draft)

dedicated to carla and deborah for their steadfast friendship and for keeping me in the water.

holometabolism

have you ever waited for a monarch to emerge from its chrysalis? i cannot tell you how much patience it takes to wait for it to happen. my next door neighbor had two monarchs as a gift from a dia de los muertos potluck, and i was so excited to be invited to wait and watch with them. the pupation (hate that word) can take only 2 weeks for the monarch; but there can be a dormancy stage as the pupa waits for the appropriate season. metabolic activity slows down until the environmental conditions are just right. its all about timing. it is a complete and whole metamorphosis, but everything has to happen in its time.

we waited and waited for the lepidoptera to find their escape. i thought it would never happen, waiting around with the patience of a 2 year old. one day i found ruth on the ground on her front lawn, and she called me over. it was happening! the monarch was emerging! even then, there was more waiting. the butterfly needs the struggle of emerging to strengthen its wings. the process cannot be forced or helped; it needs the time to develop. when it emerges, even then there is more waiting. the wings need to dry out before it can fly.

i sat with ruth for about 45 minutes. it was truly an amazing process; a patient process. i could have laid there on their lawn all day long. i was in awe of nature's process. ruth waited for quite a while; i had places to go though i was quite envious of the fact that she was privy to this monarch's maiden flight. when the second monarch emerged, i was there for take off. metamorphosis happens everyday but it held me in astonishment. as my 2 year old niece would say, it is "amaaaazing".

waiting is incredibly difficult but the end result of patience is far greater than forcing and manipulating metamorphosis. anticipation only intensifies the experience. and again i say, waiting is incredibly difficult. but the end result is something whole and complete, strong and flight worthy, awe inspiring and beautiful.

oh, and did i say waiting is difficult? (yes, i am feeling a bit childlike today)


photo by ruth airhart

the sieve and the fire

"Come on, let's go back to God. He hurt us, but he'll heal us. He hit us hard, but he'll put us right again." Hosea 6:1-3 the Message

A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out. In faithfulness he will bring forth justice; Isaiah 42:3 NIV

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:2-4 (I reaaaally struggle with this one. It is truth though)

And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. 3Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. Romans 5:2-5 (Struggling with this one too at the moment. And again, it is true)

(and this one i like)

these things i have spoken to you that in me you might find peace. in this world you WILL have tribulation. BUT be of good cheer for I HAVE OVERCOME THE WORLD. Jesus

contemplating bizarre amalgamations

the preposterous union

"well uncle rat laughed and hit his fat side
to think miss mousie a froggy's bride, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh"

"what will the wedding supper be
a french fried mosquito and a black eyed pea, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh"

...reminiscing froggy going a courtin' today.

A tall tale of a horse who married a hedgehog to follow soon.

an icy wedding

I was looking for funny anecdotes and witty sayings today and found a very strange tale of an icy marriage. Empress Anna Ivanovna was quite displeased when Prince Mikhail Alekseyevich Galitzine decided to marry a Catholic Italian woman rather than an Eastern Orthodox one. His bride died within two years of the marriage. Anna still held the grudge and decided on retribution. First she forced the prince to become a jester and then she retaliated again by forcing him to marry an ugly woman, another court jester. After the wedding ceremony, the couple were paraded on the back of an elephant with a crowd of "freaks" as their processional. They were then taken to the ice palace Anna had especially built where the happy couple were forced to spend their first night of wedded bliss. The ice house was complete with ice dishes and ice sculptures and ice pillows and a four post ice bed. The bride and groom were locked in their frigid nuptial room, and miraculously survived the night. Nine months later the jesters gave birth to twins. The ice house melted by summertime.
And what is the moral of this wacky story, children? If one sleeps on an ice pillow, take extra caution not to drool.

source: Wikipedia and a few other far fetched info sites

look well

to the remembrance of grace
for follies of youthful fancies
and foolish blunders of blithe impulses
can either crush a remorseful soul
or admonish a contrite heart

forget not

He said not 'Thou shalt not be tempested, thou shalt not be travailed, thou shalt not be dis-eased'; but he said, 'Thou shalt not be overcome.'

Julian of Norwich, Revelations of Divine Love(1342 - 1416)