three movements

i walked for miles today looking
for poetry; and it found me,
it embraced me with its sure message
of hope and dancing elephants.

i walked for miles yesterday looking
for sunshine; and it found me,
it bathed me in its strong promise
of content and warm rice noodles.

i will walk miles tomorrow and i will look
for silk; i will close my eyes
and reach out in front of me with anticipation
of it clothing me in its red beauty
of tender mercy and
a solo clarinet sonata.

a winter's end

in progress

that winter sunday
light shattered the icy sorrow
with beauty and joy
and words that awakened sleeping stars
though monday brought
a month buried under slumbering
sheets of uncertainty.

time passed and
the eclipsed moon hidden
revealed a blue moon,
tomorrow's dream unveiling,
while a strong north breeze
stole in
caressing my neck with its chilly breath,
promising a new melody.
fields of yesterday's oat crops
gone, let go, released to a grassy green hill of dandelions.
the lilacs withered
and the morning glories faded with the western sun;
they became earth and fed
the meadows of bright poppies,
meadows that whisper for
dawn's unassailed morn.

experimenting with haiku part I

for you

rumors of joy, true
misty blue hills prophecy
blossoming dogwoods


for brie

gleaming grace adorns
hope halos as dreams draw nigh
and light becomes you

yeah, it's been one of those days

it has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that today is the day when red hearts and cavity-causing lollipops crowd desktops and inboxes. or the fact that today honors a man who chose to defy roman law by allowing love's call and God's design to win the day. or the fact that today is a couple's day.

i usually observe the day by taking myself out for a cappuccino and journaling, trying to find ways to enjoy and celebrate even as a single. but today, today i just want to fall into a strong shoulder and be held.... because my car died this morning and had to ride the bus and walk a mile (which wouldn't be all bad if i didn't have mono), because i've been sick for a month and feel miserable, because my glands are throbbing and my body aches, because i have insatiable sleepiness and i would rather be in bed right now (even though i got 10 hours of sleep last night), because there's work to be done in the office and i can barely keep my eyelids open let alone make web updates, because i am not allowing anyone to hug me and many are afraid to hug someone with a infectious virus (i would be too), because this illness is isolating, because being human i am designed for fellowship... and touch.

i know, i know. that's really not too much to complain about. there have been blessings as well. a dear individual set me up with homeopathic medication to speed up the healing. two lovely people brought me food yesterday. and i get these delightful cross-cultural phone calls!

the day did get better after going to lunch with my sister and nieces. my 1 year old niece, zoe, has this funny habit of grabbing her ears and chanting baby talk, and she saves this occupation solely for car rides. what a way to lighten the heart with kooky habits of 1 year olds.

still, it's just been one of those days when lemonade and cherry pie seem just out of reach. maybe i just need to change my outlook on lemons and cherries.

the impatient patient or "ill"iterations

ah, to write something wise and witty, poetic and poignant, sagacious and sarcastic. but, lo, the brain cells and body have been borrowed by a voraciously vengeful virus for well over a fortnight, and i fear any attempt at phonetic fowl play would fringe on something frightfully freakish or freakishly phantastical, and the foundation for fine fellows of philology from the franciscan order found in the far off land of pfluggerville, to which i owe my honorary degree in experimental philology (or was that moldova?), would most likely find a fast way to finish this phlegmatic female. shall i fly first class to philadelphia to find a physician fond of deciphering fickly fiendish flus before the FFFph of FOpf finalizes my demise? but no. my melancholic malaise must manifest itself miraculously and magically benign before any flights of fancy misguide my fanatic feet. mono is maliciously and multifacitly unfair firstly because it was not kanoodled by a kiss and finally because i find i can no longer find fascinating phrases to fit my fiddle.

five hours of silence one saturday: dust to dust

dust to dust

i did an excavation the other day
with a broken limb,
a weak instrument for archaeological discoveries,
and i found two simple layers.
the first layer was dry and brittle,
of things withered and lifeless;
with a simple twist between my thumb
and forefinger
i crushed and disintigrated
a crumbly, sunbaked, dehydrated, diminished leaf.

the second layer was completely smothered by the first.
light did not reach here. light did not shine here.
the first thing that reached my senses
was the smell; the smell of decomposition
and rot.
black were the leaves
spotted with white,
marks of earth returning to earth;
dark was this layer,
corrupt. demoralized.

and the archaeologist asks,
what weary, fading things
suffocate and choke
the sun's nutrient laden
shafts
from reaching this undernourished,
feeble soul?

five hours of silence on saturday: wind and fire

wind and fire

the closer i get to you
the more pain i feel;
as i approach,
your radiance
burns,
it penetrates my skin
as it works its way in
warming my muscles and sinews,
bathing my vital organs
in pure light.

it is disturbing. it is uncomfortable.
it is holy.
and it is good.

even though i am millions of light
years away from the sun
and your glory steals my breath,
still i want more. you are my desire.

light of the world, pierce me
even more.