grace revisited.

mickey myers night falls on jericho street

i love u2's song grace. it is a blanket of comfort as i play it over and over. "what once was hurt, what once was friction, what left a mark, no longer stings; because grace makes beauty out of ugly things." i read an article in Christianity today where Bono speaks on grace. "Grace defies reason and logic. Love interrupts, if you like, the consequences of your actions, which in my case is very good news indeed, because I've done a lot of stupid stuff."

i would like to add a bit more to it. grace interrupts the consequences of death and grime. the cross was an act of Grace, but it was costly. i still have to respond to that grace. i still have to be proactive. otherwise, it cheapens grace, "it is forgiveness without repentance" as Bonhoeffer said.

i have found grace offered to me over and over; but if i don't accept it, move with it, then the beauty of it is lost.

emanuel gat dance

appreciation

“Let us learn to appreciate there will be times when the trees will be bare, and look forward to the time when we may pick the fruit.” Chekhov

a personal mantra of mine has been, "don't take it for granted. ever." because i have, especially in the past. have you ever found yourself looking back after having something and during that time you didn't realize how great it was? one personal example was living in downtown Chicago attending college there. i thoroughly enjoyed myself though i took for granted the opportunity to study there as well as the opportunity to live downtown. i had wonderful professors to teach me and train me, with resources beyond my 19 year old comprehension all at an incredible price (free). but i was depressed and confused and downcast and distracted and 19. i've been offered many opportunities like that and not realized how sweet the deal was.

i've also seen and experienced life without. felt the desert around me. and i have walked through a few valleys, the most recent one being pain. though to Job my life has been sunshine and cauliflower, it hasn't been easy.

the valleys have taught me an overwhelming gratefulness for the seasons of plenty. BUT, in the plenty, i am now grateful for the valley. there has been much to see from down there. much to learn. i read a quote today from the band, Relient K. "...But the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair." and i can say, it was grace that kept me in the valley and grace that led me out. and i don't take it for granted.

06.01.09

it's january 6th, 2009 already. this year started busy and the days have flown by so quickly. christmas and new years were jam packed with holiday goodness and family time. neal and i didn't stop though we had time to enjoy it all. neal made the christmas gravy that awed my family. i made some tart homemade cranberry sauce. we played with the girls, watched movies, and ate really delicious food for days and days. we toured a winery, remembered the alamo, strolled the riverwalk, did the new year's day polar bear swim. active and busy. but rich and full.

i am starting this new year not liking my writing anymore; but i'll keep writing. because i enjoy it. because i think i could be good with time and practice. because sometimes you just keep swimming even if it feels like it is all upstream.

i am starting this new year healthy again. after a year long battle with pain and illness, with accepting a chronic condition and then being told that i will be completely well in the next few months, i am ready to regain strength and start moving forward.

i am starting this year aware that i have had a skewed view of God's goodness in the past. he is good- all the time. and as i am in a place of contentment, i want to remember that fact no matter what the circumstances are.

i am starting this year joyful for my dear friend, brie as she prepares to be a bride. we have known each other for 18+ years, many many life seasons. i am thrilled for this esther season and honored to walk with you in it.

and, i am starting this year deeply in love, blessed to be journeying with you.