black nails and valentine's tales

By noon yesterday, I was fed up with the day which is highly unusual for me. I woke up 2 hours later than intended because my alarm had been knocked down and the battery knocked out. My friend wrote on facebook that (oh, my friend who is 9 months pregnant) during her 30+ minute train ride to work, she was never offered a seat. 9 months pregnant. On Valentine's day even. Driving home from the grocery store and stopped at a light, I had trouble shifting gears and a woman decided I was way too slow and that it was imperative that she had to lay into her horn to make sure I went faster. I tossed up a peace sign hoping she would "chill". The moment she passed me later on when I turned, she decided to lay into her horn again. The reason I couldn't shift quickly? I've had very painful tennis elbow for three months.

I know it's winter here and I know there are a lot of people who look at the day as a "Hallmark Holiday". I know there are scorned lovers and those who are loveless. There are plenty who are most likely tired of being single and find the day a horrible reminder of their singleness and their loneliness. I know. I have been there.

I also heard people complain about the day; "my daughter would always come home without receiving a Valentines" and "I think Valentine's should be about him pursuing me".

Every year I'm reminded about what this day is: it is to remember a martyr, a priest sainted for his sacrifice to Christ, his noted sacrifices for marrying Christians when Claudius the Goth had ordered against it. It was a bloody time in Roman history for Christians with much persecution. Valentine stood up for Christ, stood up against oppression and attempted annihilation of a people. He is known as the saint of Love and Lovers, of happy marriages, even bee keepers (and other people I didn't quite understand... like the plague). He is known for his blatant defiance of a brutal and tyrannical ruler.

He sounds like a man to celebrate, to emulate. Why can't we let go of what we want, what we can get out of the day and turn it instead into at least one day of loving others, of showing kindness, of noting love where love is, not where it isn't, remembering those who have generously loved, selflessly loved, and showing love to them. Loving without expectation of return, loving when it may even mean being hurt or a sacrifice of pride.

I've been generously loved. I've been shown undeserved love. I've been lavished in love. And I've been selfish with it all. I too have sat back with pity wanting, desiring love to be shown to me. A coined and overused quote seems to capture so much, "Be the change you want to see in the world." Another quote from another saint, "grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood as to understand; to be loved as to love." prayer of St. Francis

A final thought; for me, I have known great love because of the Love of God. From that deep love, a love with a force greater than Iguazu Falls, I am truly overwhelmed. Oh, to give like Him, to love like Him. And, what I've seen of His love, it is only a glimpse of Love, only a glimpse of Heaven.

"Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you." Psalm 63:3