amazing nature

i don't if it is just convenient for otters to hold hands or if they are truly affectionate. a wonderful lady sent me this link. i am not a 'you-tuber' but wow, 'otterly' amazing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ybs0eJ3i3FU&mode=related&search=

17 days until the british invasion

I have been living in the same sweet house for almost 3 years now. this breaks a major cycle in my life of moving every two years. believe me, i have had some difficulties hanging around. there is this deep seeded wanderlust in my bones that cries out for the next adventure. i was "this close" to going back to denton to complete my degree there. i mentioned it to my mom and we had a nice long chat about it. she helped me weigh all the vices and not-so-vices. and we came to the conclusion that it takes much effort to build a good community base. i have invested 5 years at the same church, and have been a part of the church in some way or another for 7. attempting to re-create intimacy that comes with experience and longevity is something that from appearances would take much effort. (i will add that the intimacy is not at the levels I hope for but I will continue to hope) And my reason for desiring to go is that 1. wanted to finish what I started and 2. trying to imagine wrangling up the EIGHT transcripts I would have to in order to graduate from somewheres down here. I also have an excellent job here in austin, another major bonus considering what I have been through with jobs. All to say, I am staying put..... for now. (There is one lady from my church that has asked me if I will still be around in August!)

So, in breaking a 17 year tradition, little old cullen avenue remains "home". And in 17 days, the "world" comes my way in the form of a very kind British woman who will room with me for a short while.

And, if nothing major happens in the next 2 years (ie. marriage or ministry opportunity here or school) then I plan to head south for the border and fulfill a life-long desire of serving Christ in a Spanish speaking community. casa, dolce casa?

forsaken

"My God my God, why hast thou forsaken me" by F. Holland Day 1898

the arts and teaching pastor at my church asked me to be one of the seven that reflects on the last words of Christ for our church's Good Friday service. On meditating on the scriptures, this one brought me to my knees. Even Jesus uttered the words, "My God My God why hast thou forsaken me?" I am going to include my reflections; they have been cut down considerably (I think I could have written a 40 minute sermon!) I found so many wonderful words by theologians and wish I could include them all. George MacDonald, a favorite author of mine, experienced more suffering than I think I can ever fathom. He writes a beautiful meditation on these last words (I found it on the NavPress site). and here are mine. thank you, brie, my editor in chief. names have been changed to protect some identities and a sentence or two have been left off for various reasons (at the writer's discretion).





About the ninth hour Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani? Which means “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me”.
These are incredibly perplexing words. Martin Luther stated, “God turning his back on God? Who can understand it”? Christ had already suffered greatly through beatings and his wounds, thirst, starvation, sweating blood, taking this “cup”. And now He was partaking in the will of God. He was taking on the sins of the world. And he echoes the words of David in psalm 22, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, so far from the words of my groaning? O my God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer, by night, but I find no rest.”


One of the most significant verses in my life has been, “I will never leave you NOR FORSAKE YOU”. When I was barely old enough to speak my mom taught me to memorize bible verses, and after memorizing so many, I won a prize, a plaque with this verse on it. It hung above my light switch throughout my childhood and whenever I was afraid or had a nightmare, I would turn to that plaque to remember His promise. It still hangs in my room today.

There was a time in my life when Christ’s love was so richly poured out over me. His voice was so sweet. Our fellowship was intimate. His intense outpouring of grace touched me and moved me to share His goodness with others. So I decided to serve the Lord in Amsterdam. My first day there was 9/11. My third week brought two minor sexual assaults. And it was almost immediately that I realized God was silent. I didn’t hear his voice anymore. I would cry out and no response was given.

MY GOD MY GOD WHY HAST THOU FORSAKEN ME!

And I was surrounded by real, in your face human depravity. There was my sweet friend from Burundi who was taken by rebels and then was brought to shoot her own parents. Gladys from England whose inner arms were tributes to her multiple suicide attempts. A friend from Nigeria whose family was burned alive in their home by rebels. There was another friend from Thailand who was raped by a woman and spent the next several years sleeping with as many men as possible to attempt to “cure” her homosexual longings. There was the Christian missionary, a man of God who for a brief moment grabbed me in a dark staircase to feed his selfish lusts. In this place, it seemed I was surrounded by death!
And my response was “my God my God why have you forsaken these!”

Even after returning from Amsterdam, God was silent and I seem to find still more suffering, more hardship, more ramifications of this fallen nature.
Four years God was silent. Four years his presence felt distant.. They were 4 years of poverty, of not knowing how I could pay bills and eat, of desperately seeking work. There was relational poverty and intense loneliness. Mostly there was spiritual poverty. I felt abandoned by God. What I did know is that I had previously experienced God’s goodness. I had tasted and seen that the Lord is good. Charles Spurgeon writes, “There are seasons when the brightness of our Father's smile is eclipsed by clouds and darkness; but let us remember that God never does really forsake us.."

The little plaque from my childhood with the verse “Nor forsake you” was still true though through these years it had baffled me. I knew that had to move past feeling and past intellect. I had to embrace trust. Psalm 22 continues with, “ Yet you are enthroned as the Holy One; you are the praise of Israel. In you our fathers put their trust; they trusted and you delivered them. They cried to you and were saved; in you they trusted and were not disappointed.”



In a meditation of these last words of Christ, George MacDonald writes “The divine horror of that moment is unfathomable to the human soul. It was the blackness of darkness. And yet He believed. Yet He held fast. God was still His God.”


Christ entered our sufferings. God entered our sufferings. The raw honesty of the cross is that the punishment for sin is death, utter and complete separation from God, the creator, the author and perfector of life, the Father. He who knew no sin became sin for us. Christ drank the cup, tasted death. God knew separation from God.

Christ called out not about his pain or his suffering; it was great. But he called out for the Father.

He who knew no sin and knew the glory of heaven, knew the deepest sweetness of communion with God, took your death and my death, took on sin and separation from the I Am, so we, the sinners, can fellowship with the Almighty.