ruminations of a black evening gown

rumination 1

beg: someone stole the iphone

sg: "your phone?"

beg: no, the iphone.

sg: "your phone?"

beg: no. the I-PHONE.

sg: "your phone?"

beg, to self (losing patience): arg. explaining anything to an sg feels futile, sweet girl.


rumination 2

beg (to the upper crust): "you look lovely!"
uc (to beg): "and you look............................. (unenthusiastically and unsure how to respond) um, lovely."

yes, i only had 20 minutes to get ready; and yes, i did buy my $130 dress off the rack on sale for $84 dollars 5 days before; and yes, it was one size too big, and yes, i had been working all day without a break going on 3 hours of sleep; and yes, i only make one third of what it cost to put one of your children through one year of private pre-school. but cummon. even the upper crust know how to be polite.

rumination 3

guest 1: yeah, they said to talk to the lady in the black evening gown...

guest 2: that's hilarious. there are 100 ladies in black dresses.

beg (standing right beside them looking a bit official and the only black dress in the room): can i help you find something?

rumination 4

no, i am not cinderella racing to her pumpkin before the clock strikes midnight. i am a woman in a very long black evening gown running through a five star hotel on a mission (a bit sidney bristow-esk) seeking a group of lost sorority girls (okay, not so sidney and not at all cinderella). i did lose my glass slipper though. anybody seen it? anybody seen a group of hungry sorority girls? save a sorority girl, save the world (or at least find the raffle tickets and save the raffle).

rumination 5

silver fox-trot. need i say more? b.e.g. is very confused. why?... the eternal question.

rumination 6

note to self-- get more sleep the night before a big event. one needs one's brain when trying to explain anything to a drunk, loud, yelling crowd of wealthy, competitive, american consumers.

rumination finale

find other event to wear a black evening gown to when i am not so self conscious of being seen in said b.e.g. and when there is sweet company to share it with. also, watching animaniacs with dear friends is a perfect way for a b.e.g. to end an evening.

narf. okay, luv you. bah-bye.