a "half" birthday

when my siblings and i were young whipper snappers we had a family tradition of the half birthday. since my parents had mother's day and father's day as well as birthdays, we asked for another excuse to celebrate, and my parents came up with the half birthday. we would have 1/2 of a cake and we could choose the meal and we were allowed to have one friend over. we would usually go somewhere, most likely hiking or camping.

today is my half birthday and i am thinking over the things I am truly thankful for through this trying, bizzare but fruitful summer. 1. i have a working car. i had thought and dreamt about my ideal vehicle-- a silver honda hybrid or hoping for subaru to introduce their own hybrid. silly me. i have a vehicle to drive, and i try to endear its crumpled hood as an ironic reminder that that God takes care of me. 2. i have a compassionate, good doctor who has helped me heal (dr. garrett bary if you are in the market for a chiropractor/acupunturist). 3. i have renewed friendships, friends who know me well, have supported me over the years, and hopefully who i have supported and loved as well. 4. through these lovely ladies i have found a love and appreciation for swimming again. swimming has helped not only my body heal and get stronger and healthy again but through it the Lord has revealed to me several things as i talk to him in the water and as we (deborah and carla) talk and pray together. 4. literature and art i cannot live without. they teach and reveal unknown beauty. 5. that my father is healthy and healing. 6. hope for what lies ahead.

maybe i'll go eat at gueros and find a half a piece of half-birthday cake. and no, revealing my age is no longer acceptable even though it is just a half birthday.

injustice, confusion, sympathy

The only way for me to receive justice is by denying any inkling of compassion this heart carries. I think my romantic meanderings were right on. The accident I had 2 months ago was most likely with an illegal allien. She is uninsured though her husband is, and she was excluded from his policy. Should I have called the cops? I would think she would have been deported and I know there are kids involved in the mix. And I know they must be suffering financially. I have experienced poverty but i know it cannot compare to that of the poverty of underdeveloped countries.
Where is my injustice? Their lack of financial responsibility, lack of responsibility period. Doctor bills piled up, my car functioning but in bad shape and I am left with two choices. I have to live with these things or sue an even poorer family (no thank you). A compassionate doctor, swimming, and friends make the injuries easier to bear. And now I learn and trust that my father in heaven will give me bread and not stones for the rest.

random quote

I have learned a deeper appreciation for Charles Dickens over this summer. David Copperfield has become a favorite novel of mine, and I was quite entertained by Nicolas Nickleby. My favorite quote from Nicolas Nickleby, a very random one, made me laugh a hearty laugh though I tried to hide it. I am endeared to Dickens' "buffoons"-- maybe both annoyed and endeared. They provide such a comic relief to the paragraphs that are otherwise filled with relentless hardship.


"You know, there is no language of vegetables which converts a cucumber into a formal declaration of attachment."

(Mrs. Nickelby reasoning why her neighbor throws garden vegetables at her)

8th hope arts festival week 2

well, it is the second week of the arts festival and so far it has been a feast for the senses. pamela nelson's awe inspiring stain glass windows, amanda legget's soulful voice, and myriads of visual and musical pieces all make this such a rich and full experience. friday is the spoken word event with essays and poems, words from hearts and minds of a diverse group of people. new moms, professors, musicians, theologians, linguists, word smiths, accountants, poets... all bringing new life to words that exist because of their authors' lives and thoughts. i am one of those and will post my poem, my exploration of grace, on friday before the event. i love being a part of this festival. it is always inspiring, a reminder to create and enjoy creation. this year has been quite a blessing working with jodi h. co-managing the event-- which makes the load much much lighter. and now we pray that the 20% chance of rain will reduce to 0% and the crowds will show and hearts will be blessed.