Friday, April 18, 2008

the great american disconnect

So last night I watched and was thoroughly disturbed by the movie Lars and the Real Girl. Basic plot-- single 27 year old male lives alone in his brother's garage apartment. Hermit. Very lonely. Afraid to be touched. Not good in conversing with girls. Okay, really bad. And so he forms a delusional girlfriend (anatomically correct doll) and creates her to be his perfect woman. She was raised by nuns, served as a missionary, and was traveling the world. The whole town works with Lars supporting him through his delusion. Finally, his made up girlfriend is no longer needed when he begins to connect with a very sweet and very patient real girl.

What was disturbing is how isolated he was partly by his own design but also because of a scarred past. And also by the design we Americans choose to live. I don't like it! I hate that we are so pulled away from community in this culture. We have our own cars, we drive ourselves alone to our workplace, some of us are alone all day in our offices and cubicles, many go home to empty houses. We surrendered our front porches for back ones, and so many do not even know their neighbors' names. When I lived in Denton, Texas I lived alone for 6 months; during those six months I could go three weeks without meaningful conversations and even worse, three weeks without being touched. Now days, I can still go days without a hug or a brush, and there are a few days I can go without seeing anyone other than my boss and my doctor. Some of this by my own fault, some by cultural choices.

We are not made for this!!! We were designed for connection. We were designed for touch. We were designed for community. We were designed for holy kisses. There is scientific proof for these statements (for another blog) . Men and women. We need 10-12 meaningful touches a day.

so, my challenge today-- go hug someone. Today I am hugging my nieces and sister for lunch. If you have someone to hug, don't take it for granted. Please. I found this Australian short on You Tube called Meaningful Touches. So sweet and sad, sweet and sad... like dark chocolate.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U2BdTO0wSMQ

2 comments:

Pat R said...

just saw Lars and the Real Girl, Gosling did a great job playing out his character's psychological transitions... it was nice of them to leave out the predictable small-town drama as well

micah said...

i guess that's why it was so disturbing for me-- he portrayed a believable character.