love's charge dear sisters, dear brothers

dear sisters
my loves,
i charge you
as daughters of the most high king,
as women of worth and valor,
as ones who seek to know the
sovereign face of Love's true embrace,
guard your hearts
for the heart is the wellspring of life;
it is a precious thing,
an honest treasure of inestimable worth;
treat the men in your life with
a sister's care, with tender words and
holy kisses, with truth and grace;
do not arouse or awaken love
until its time,
until the Beloved
releases the chords that hold your
hearts and bind them to Him;
your hearts, they deserve to be honored;
your love, it needs to be cherished;
and you, you are worth far more than rubies;
do not toss away something so dear to the wind
hoping it will carry you across the waves;
wait! take heart and wait.
let love find you.

dear brothers
my loves,
i charge you
as sons of the most high king,
as men of honor and dignity,
as ones who seek to know
the face of Glory;
guards your hearts
for the heart is a value worth more than gold,
greater than precious stones,
it is the wellspring of life;
protect the sisters in your life
with truth and fraternal tenderness,
with grace and loyalty;
do not give love away
until your Sovereign releases you;
and when His charge is given
pursue it with the force
of the knights of old,
with david's lire
and solomon's passion;
for your love is thing of great worth
not to be won by lust or flattery
but to be held dear and held close,
to be counted far more beautiful
and costly than any earthly thing.

Sisters, remember their mothers when thinking of your brothers. Brothers, as a brother once said to me, "think of your sisters as the mob boss' daughters." Honor each other in the Love of the Beloved.

endor's kiss

saul, how the mighty have fallen

what shadows fell here
and darkness concealed
what hollow voids hid in their
secret caves
and dry wood withheld,
dampened ground,
wet leaves crushed by heavy boots
and age
what the musty stench
and frothy air
of night secured
in its consuming tendrils

you, you walked to her
you chose her untested knowledge
doubt propelled your foot
hoping for a relief
wanting safety
security
pleasure
to know her magic
how it would sate your frailty
for she had the answers your answer would not give

and you, you walked away from trust
you chose endor's kiss
and all her charms
the dark crevisses of her mouth
and the folds of her skirt
that hid your weakness
her hips your delight
though you knew
under the veil was the
denial of truth
an age old sin
that led you down the familiar
and familial paths

you had a chance to walk away
even samuel knew
but you, you chose
the hidden
the wasted
the counsel of her lust
the seductive gaze
of power
and the driving hurricane
of the pursuit of knowledge
the idol of understanding
the guiling smirk
of her tainted lips
how the mighty have fallen
in the vain likeness
of holy crusades.

$1,000,000.00

there is so much on my mind and heart, so much to write about, poems lingering on the edge of my tongue and fingers, still much sadness and much processing. but today something very rare and very unusual has happened to me.

i touched a million dollars. today. literally. i touched a check for a million dollars. today. with my own two hands. the interest alone on that check will make double my yearly salary. whoa. i love working in philanthropy. we give away money. and some philanthropists give away big money. like 1 million dollars. for good causes. some person just sat down and wrote a check with six big zeroes behind a big fat 1. and it wasn't child's play or monopoly money. it was the real thing. not to buy a house or invest in the latest technology. it was given away. just like that. for posterity's sake. not to make a grandchild rich and wealthy or to make a name for oneself. but for the general public to benefit. and again i say, whoa.

so, i of course began to wonder.... if i was given a million dollars just like that what would i do with it? how would i steward it? what would you do with it?

-i would set up a retirement fund for my parents
-i would set some aside for my nieces to go to college
-i would set some aside for investing specifically for charity/missions/ministry and research well what i give to
-i would put some to work in investments
-i would set some aside for adopting a child one day
-i would buy a reliable vehicle for my brother and sister
-i would buy a hybrid vehicle for myself
-i would buy a shotgun to put my current vehicle out of its misery
-i would put some aside hoping that one day i get to have a very simple wedding
-i would find some kind of support to lose that last 35 of hiding weight (yes, i am one of those women always self-conscious of her body and all the perceived imperfections)
-i would go back to school and go to grad school in england
-i would cook large elaborate meals for random people
-i would have a community home in an unknown land to host musicians and poets and writers and artists and travelers and wanderers and the tired and weary and missionaries and thinkers and lecturers and intellects and philosophers and seekers and doers
-i would dress like a true bohemian and pierce my nose
-i would study a country and its people and go live there for a while
-i would take some time out just to write. just write.
-i would spend a day at the strand in nyc buying and giving away books
-i would dream about all the things that need to be done on this earth to bring it closer to what grace and glory look like... para ejemplo, programs for street kids in under-developed nations, ways to get children in third world countries out of the factories and in to childhood, what relief in africa should really look like, how to end the sex slave trade, how to support debt forgiveness for underdeveloped countries and programs to help them develop and maintain budgets and thriving industries, etc., etc...

looking at the list, there is so much of it that can be done without a million dollars! i don't need the million. just kinda need a little faith. so much of it is just dreams and visions, hopes and prayers. my purpose in life, my purpose on this round blue globe is to honor christ. my purpose is to serve him all the days i am given on this planet. that is my call. that is my reason to breathe and walk and live. this opportunity to be a civilian, to be a warm body on a cold cold earth, is a privilege and a grace though some days it feels more like punishment and purgatory. i don't need a million dollars. i've been given so much already. and i ask a similar question in another light, how am i stewarding all i've already been given?

right now someone i know is helping a charitable organization plan to give away $100,000,000.00 over the next few years. now that is.... unfathomable.

behold ye, unsacred one

what was hidden,
what was gloved in velvet,
what was meant as
an irony of pleasure
will be completely undone.

your power is not power,
it can be bested;
your hold has no mastery
over a soul
already claimed
a woman named,
made
in the likeness
of a king.

and if you read the
writing on a body sanctified,
redeemed
it does not read
'she is mine';

it echoes the words
of the solemn troubadour,
a long ago wisdom
calling and affirming
love's design,
'i am my beloved's and he is mine.'

darkness, your call is light
and i say in the name of
the one who knows well
your end
and, in the same breath,
knows well
the scarlet robe that consecrates
a heart forgiven,
run;
for his authority and dominion
knows no boundary,
no emasculation,
and absolutely
no end.

le monde dans elle mains

pardonnez-moi, s'il vous plait.
je parle mauvais français et
je l'ecrit plus mal.

je ne comprends pas!
je suis tres desoriente
parce que
je ne sais pas si j'étais rêver
ou
si je vivais en réalité;
mon veu n'ont pas été validés
avec
les mots lumineux
ou
baisers de compassion,
ni embrasse.

et mon espoir regarde notre monde
avec les verres rose-colores,
comme utopia;
ma volonte l'a exigé,
les autres l'a encouragé,
et cheminées chaleureux écrites
sans écriture,
parle sans parler,
bien que l'instinct et l'intuition
ondulé les drapeaux jaunes.

mais aujourd'hui.
aujourd'hui est un autre jour.
et maintenant je comprends que
le monde est cassé
et
tout que j'ai rêvé était
de chaque maniere
tacite.

et deja,
je suis oublié.
et le slience.
il parle tout.
il n'y a bouge.
et rotation des arrêts.

le monde est-il une étape?
le monde est-il rond ou plat?
est-ce que les etoiles
entourent autour de nous?
je ne comprends rien.

"Entre l'idée
Et la réalité
Tombe l'ombre."