what is it about a vinyl record that is so wholly comforting? the needle skips over the well worn grooves, grooves that can recount the past and the stories within. carole king's "tapestry" i can play over and over. i think we might be soul sisters though i prefer gilda's "national woman" to the original:) carole and i rode the train together a couple of times from jacksonville to miami as i sat in my lone seat pining for the man who had my heart and then broke it. at the time he was woven in to the words and the music. thirteen years later, carole and i still sing together though the man is no longer. the memories are still there of the clickity-clack clickity-clack hum the tracks made, who i was then, where my heart was, and all the lessons i needed to learn. at the time i was working on a ship stationed in jacksonville, fl. We were preparing to sail to the rebellion-torn, poverty stricken nation of haiti to take in relief supplies and hospital equipment. there were 100 crew members representing 19 different nations. the ship was a forty year old norwegian ferry; "fart" in norwegian means "stop", btw. some reason the tiny cabin i lived in was painted bright pink, and the roommate i shared it with was never there. i would go to johnny rockets at the jacksonville landing for special occasions , and sometimes i kept a stash of oreos in a zip lock for late night snackies. i drank powdered tea and my best friends were dutch and swiss. my theology was being tested through new ideas, new experiences, new people. and in the meantime, my boyfriend from home-- who lived in miami-- broke up with me (i still have a distaste for the florida keys, particularly key biscane). as my heart was breaking and learning to mend, i was being taught to trust and lean on the goodness of God in the heat of trial. praise him no matter what. no matter what. praise him in the bad times, praise him in the good. praise him. just praise. it stuck with me for a while; when i returned back from having my heart pummelled against the waves, i was told by a respected one that i was glowing. it was all in praising God, in trusting him. and then when i got home to texas i threw a tantrum and a pity party and gave up on the praising. bad idea.
carole and i also shared a journey with my sister kara. kara's cd player decided to give out at the beginning of a spring break trip to padre island and south padre island (we liked going to the beach together, going on road trips, etc). so we picked up the tapestry cd case and ended up singing every single song, remembering all the words (kara remembered "tapestry" much better than i did).
carole also reminds me of my mom because mom is the one who owned the 'tapestry' record in the first place. she liked folk music in the 70's and 80's and my tastes have been influenced by that. bread, john denver, carpenters, peter paul and mary, dan fogelberg, etc.... just to name a few.
thirteen years after the 'last train to jacksonville', i am still learning to lean on God, to trust him when circumstances look bleak, when i am ready to put down the armor and sword and crumble into someone's arms, to praise him- just praise him when the heart is weak, to not get caught up in my own mind and desires and wishes and emotions. just praise.
last week when trouble was raining down, i pulled out carole and danced. the sweet sounds of the crackling record reminded me that this is not the end. "way over yonder, is a place that i know, where i can find shelter from the hunger and cold.... i know when i get there the first thing i'll see is the sun shinin' golden, shinin' right down on me."
your kingdom come.
on earth as it is in heaven.
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