it has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that today is the day when red hearts and cavity-causing lollipops crowd desktops and inboxes. or the fact that today honors a man who chose to defy roman law by allowing love's call and God's design to win the day. or the fact that today is a couple's day.
i usually observe the day by taking myself out for a cappuccino and journaling, trying to find ways to enjoy and celebrate even as a single. but today, today i just want to fall into a strong shoulder and be held.... because my car died this morning and had to ride the bus and walk a mile (which wouldn't be all bad if i didn't have mono), because i've been sick for a month and feel miserable, because my glands are throbbing and my body aches, because i have insatiable sleepiness and i would rather be in bed right now (even though i got 10 hours of sleep last night), because there's work to be done in the office and i can barely keep my eyelids open let alone make web updates, because i am not allowing anyone to hug me and many are afraid to hug someone with a infectious virus (i would be too), because this illness is isolating, because being human i am designed for fellowship... and touch.
i know, i know. that's really not too much to complain about. there have been blessings as well. a dear individual set me up with homeopathic medication to speed up the healing. two lovely people brought me food yesterday. and i get these delightful cross-cultural phone calls!
the day did get better after going to lunch with my sister and nieces. my 1 year old niece, zoe, has this funny habit of grabbing her ears and chanting baby talk, and she saves this occupation solely for car rides. what a way to lighten the heart with kooky habits of 1 year olds.
still, it's just been one of those days when lemonade and cherry pie seem just out of reach. maybe i just need to change my outlook on lemons and cherries.
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