everything made beautiful. in its time.

"The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost" G.K. Chesterton

the days of summer have finally turned from scorching heat to a sweet sweet falling rain, a grace on this dry and weary soil. i am cherishing the gray clouds because the sun has been relentless and overall selfishly overpowering the wistfully parched sky.

today i'm in a pensive mood realizing the summer is closing... and hip, hip hooray for that... and fall is fast approaching. (of course austin fall means warm, three-quarter length shirt wearing weather and not the cozy hemp sweater wearing kind of fall.) the months are flitting away too quickly.

i'm thinking about time in the whole line up of eternity. when i think about it, our life span is so short. we're not given 200 years like those gone before (sorry but 969 years is way too long to live). we have these 70 to 80 (90s or 100s for others like my great grandmother) years to live. and i'm asking myself how am i spending those handful of years? am i living like i only have a little portion of time on the eternal timeline or do i spend it frivously? am i living as though time is short?

this translates in the way i choose to live, the way i love, the way i choose to treat others. the choices in what i do in my free time. the choices i make in behavior. the choices to forgive (or not forgive). the choices to be kind. to be graceful. to imitate kingly mercy. to imitate the shepherd. to not worry! yes, it's all scary. to be honest and real. to take that next step forward. to trust an unseen God. to remove masks in front of crouds of onlookers. to release pride and admit a mistake. to send a submission to another publisher after a rejection. to sing in front of a large group of strangers.

but without making these choices, life is not really worth it. it is existential nihilism and we're all just good country people. and my name is hulga.

are you living deep? are you living deliberately? are you sucking the marrow from this precious life that God graciously gave you?

Remember how fleeting is my life. psalm 89